If You're Not Writing, You're Reading

Photo Courtesy of @cardedbykashani 

I've taken some time away from writing... ya I know, again!  But this time wasn't just out of sheer laziness.

I believe any good writer should take some time reading.  So that's what I've been doing.  Devouring books to not only exercise my mind, but also develop myself as a writer.  I find reading the works of others helps shapes the flow of my own.  So over the last two months I've been reading and re-reading some classics, like War of the Worlds, Slaughterhouse Five, and Cat's Cradle to name a few. Two very different types of written works, but also two very good authors to reference.  I've recently started reading Endure By Ian Warner, and even though I've just started I know it's going to be an amazing read.

A lot people don't realize that in order to get better at something, sometimes you have to take step back and work at it from a different angle.  I knew my writing needed some work, so I took to seeing how the greats did it to help make mine stronger.

Just like with writing, I feel like I did that this year with track.

I chose a new path this year.  Which meant breaking everything thing down and building it all back up again.  And boy was it hard!!

I met a lot of challenges this year, on and off the track.  I knew it was going to be tough though and just stuck through it.  I wasn't able to do it all alone though.  I had an AMAZING crew behind me.

My coach, Bob Westman, who even though he had the hardest time reading me, never gave up and pushed and put up with me everyday.
My training partners, Alicia, Natalie, Maggie, and Brenna. The 800m girls that kicked my butt EVER Tuesday, Rachel and Fiona.  Hayley who took the brunt of my smack talk on speed days.  And the boys Greg, Ray-Ray and Isiah.  They all made ever training session enjoyable and pushed me when I thought I had nothing left.
The staff at Omega Health and Fitness, I don't even know where to start with them.  Through two hamstring injuries, a back strain and calf issues, they made it happen.  Working with me to get and keep me healthy.

And last but not least my families.  I say families because I've been blessed to have the support of not just my blood, but my supplanted family here in Toronto.  I have the most amazing siblings, that know exactly what to say and when to keep that fire burning inside me.  The Warner's and the George's have taken me in as their own, and make being 2100km away from home so much easier.

My mom.  Every day at 1030 I'm guaranteed a call from this amazing woman with words of encouragement and a reminder that 'the podium is where you want to be'.

So as this year winds up, I'm preparing to take that step back and get refocused for next year.  This year was hard, and the next two years are going to be harder.  I'm prepared for it though.  I'm surrounded by people who love and believe in me.

Now it's time for me to do the same

Finding Success in Failure

Feels like just yesterday I was on my way down to California, and now I'm heading home. The last 16 days have been amazing to say the least.

It is always easiest to post after good races, and to hide and disappear after not so good ones. This time around I had 5 sub par races in California, however my first instinct was not to hide, but instead share how this experience was probably the best thing to happen to me for this season.

After my first round of competitions at Mount Sac, and Azusa, I thought for sure I knew exactly what I needed to do to drop some sick times the next time around. In all actuality, mentally I knew exactly what needed to be done, physically though was another thing.

I had three amazing workouts before the meet at UC San Diego. Things were firing, and my speed was coming back, I felt like I was ready to make some big moves. The day before the meet at my pre-race workouts I felt like a bag of garbage. My glutes were exhausted, hips were tight and legs were heavy, all the things I LOVE to feel the day before my race. Some may find it strange, but I actually enjoy feeling beat up the day before my race, because in my mind, that is my day to feel like garbage instead of actually on race day. I made it through the pre-race well and was more than ready to run the next day.

Race day at UC San Diego was beautiful. The sun was out and there was a slight breeze. The forecast called for rain, but coming from Toronto I knew there wasn't anything the golden state could throw at me I couldn't handle. I no longer felt like garbage, and worked through my warm up with confidence that things were about to go down. There were slight nerves, but mostly excitement, I was amped to roll out and make my mark. My race tactics from the previous week were perfect, so I just replayed that over and over in my head. If I just raced that same way with fresh legs this week, things should come together.

I attacked the first 200m aggressively and in control, coming around the corner I just focused on staying tall and keeping my hips up. I came off the final bend feeling good, I felt like I had ran wisely and maybe, just maybe this time around that 100lbs gorilla would decided to jump on some other poor quarter milers back today. For two to three strides off the corner I felt like I was on top of the world, then perfectly, on cue, that great silver back came out. I had not escaped, he got me.  But I told him 'NO!' and fought through. I pumped my arms, pumped like there was no tomorrow. I could tell it was working, I felt myself closing on the girls beside me. With 50 meters left the quarter miler rigger was kicking in with full force, but the fight was real, I was not giving up.

My time was a tad faster than the week before, but once again nothing to really feeling amazing about.

The Triton Invitation at UC San Diego was a good way to end this block of competition for the season. On and off the track California was overall a great experience. 

Being new to my training group this trip gave me an opportunity to really get to know my coach, my program and the people I train with. I find myself at a new level of comfort with my new surrounding, and a better understanding of how this change is going to make me better in the long run. I was able open up and have some solid heart to hearts with my training partners. And, I was able visit some family and have the opportunity spend some good time with my best friend.

Physically I know I have a lot of work to do before nationals, but mentally I am exactly where I want to be. Determination and motivation are built through struggle, and I am more driven then ever before. 

California gave me the opportunity to fail so I now know what I need to do to succeed.

“before anyone ran fast, they were slow” ~A.Henry

Where Did That Gorilla Come From!?!

Three races, and a million hours of sun later I've come to the end of my opening weekend.  My times were nothing to celebrate, but I find myself surprisingly positive about how this season is going to play out.

Race one this weekend was the 400m at Mount Sac, in Walnut, California.  My week of training leading up felt really good, and I was feeling ready to go.  After my pre-race the day before, I was so sure I was gonna roll out come race day.  When it came to the next day though, things didn't exactly fall into place.  I was quiet, concerned, introvert, just not myself.  I probably looked like someone had shot my dog, and all that showed in my race, and I ran a very dismal time.  For like 15 minutes afterwards I was ready to quit track all together.  Then something awesome happened. My training partners came to me, and brought me back up.  My doubts fleeting my mind with no haste.
The assurance of someone who cares about you, in a time when you're down, can do you wonders.

I left Walnut, and traveled to Azusa to run my second race.  My attitude and demeanor was night and day from my first race of the day.  I was excited once again, and ready to have some fun.  I ran the 200m at Azusa. I ran the race not caring about the time per se, but more for a feeling.  I ran for that feeling, that reminds you why you love track, and as a quarter miler, running a 200m is the perfect race to get that.

Friday was a long day, very early morning and pretty late night.  I got home and was exhausted, but knew that my race on Saturday was going to be great.

Third race of the weekend was the 400m at the Long Beach Invitational.  I was lucky enough to get in the invitational section later in the day so I got to sleep in a bit which my body definitely needed. I thought I would have been really drained coming into my last race, but I was feeling surprising well. After my 200m I was feeling mentally better, and given how bad my first 400m went, I now knew what not to do this time around.

My race execution was perfect.  I came through the 200 and 300 right on point, but then I came around the corner and it hit me!  The wind, the two previous races, and a whole lot of sun from the day before, all took form of a giant gorilla hopping on my back for the last leg of my race.  For 50m I had succumb to the  beast of lactic and fatigue.  It felt like I was doing running A's with a 100lbs weighted vest up a hill with a 45 degree incline.  With 50m left I told myself the faster I finish this, the sooner the pain will stop, so I went to my arms and pumped as hard as I could, and it worked!

Needless to say, none of my times this weekend were anything to write home about.  But given that, I'm extremely happy with how everything went.  You can't enjoy the sun without snow, you can't appreciate success without failure.  Through these three races I've learned a lot it usually takes a whole season to realize.  I'm extremely excited for this season to play out.  I'm ready to apply what I've learned and have some fun while doing it.

Prose and Cons

So as I mentioned in my last post, I'm going to use this blog as an opportunity for me to express more than just the athletic side of me.
I'd like to use this as a platform for some creative writing, opinion pieces along side some blogs about how the track side of my life is going.
I'm a fan of feedback, so feel free to let me know what you think of anything I write.

With that being said, I'm going to be working on some revamping of my blog to make it easier to segment off the different categories of writing I'll be putting out.  For now everything will still show up on the regular feed of posts.   Over the next little while some changes will be made to help with the flow of writing that I'll be putting out.

Until then, here is a little something I've been working on.

Yup, This is Happening

So it's been about two years since my last post, somewhat embarrassing, I know.   There were many times over the last 24 months that I definitely wanted to taps the keys and let the world know what I was up to.  Unfortunately for  a while, lets just say, I was being restricted by some powers that be.
The shackles have been broken, and my hope is to be blogging regularly once again :-)

Before, 100% of my blogs had been dedicated to workouts, races and well, just track in general.  My attempt this time round will still include the aforementioned, but also some of the creative writing that plagues my mind 15 minutes before I fall asleep.

First though, a quick recap of the last two years before moving on....

2012 - Of course this was the year of the Olympics.  My whole reason for moving to Toronto was coming to fruition and London was my goal.  I ran a couple decent races throughout the season, however none were near the qualifying standard needed to make the team.  It all came down to performing at Trials in Calgary.  Nerves were at the highest I had ever experienced. Haunted by sleepless nights and the inability to eat a solid meal without an instant gag reaction were common place leading up to race day.   When it came down to it, I did what I could and gave it my all, but in the end I came up short.  That summer I enjoyed watching my team and country mates compete at the Games with pride.

Leading into 2013 I wasn't 100% sure what I was going to do. As I competed over season, I kind of  just went through the motions.  Showed up to practice, went to meets, rested and hydrated.  Just did the things needed to be an athlete.  There was never really a drive to perform or do well, but it was more so just doing what I knew.

As the season came to an end, I knew I needed a change.  Too many races were followed my nights full of tears and confusion.  I knew I still wanted to run, but most of all I knew I wasn't happy.  At one point quitting seemed like the only option.  After talking in through with my mom though, I knew that was no the answer.  She suggested ways to still make things work, and still run but most of all be happy once again.

After a lot of praying, meeting with coaches and talking things over with friends and team mates I knew what I needed to do.  I said goodbye to my old training partners and embraced the idea of working with a new coach and group.

I am now six months in with my new environment.  It took some getting use to at first. Working with a new program, new people and new facilities, but so far things have been good.  I was blessed with a couple personal bests in the indoor season and I am now preparing for outdoors.

Most people like to end with an insightful quote that keeps you thinking all day, but that's not my style.
So until next time, which hopefully isn't in two years, take it easy :-)

Opener Up!

Today was finally it.  After two camps and seven weeks in the Caribbean, it was finally time to open up!
A season opener is a blessing and curse.  Its very nerve racking and exciting all in one nice little ball thats just waiting to explode.  This time I was ready for it though.  I was still nervous, yet still very calm.

I arrived at the track just over 2 hours before my race.  This gave me a chance to take in the atmosphere and mentally prepare for the race.  Luckily for me the meet is at York, so it was very familiar and very comfortable.  I know the corners, I know the ins and outs, I practice there every day, its like my second home.
There was buzz already as I entered the building.  They had started running the 60's, which are always a crowd pleaser.  All of my training partners had eased through their heats and the finals looked like they were going to be quick. This was no time to get caught up though, I needed to focus on me.  I picked a spot to sit down, plugged in my headphones and got into the zone.  I controlled my breathing, I thought positive thoughts and I saw myself winning.  I had no worries about my race at all.

As I started to warm up I felt some tightness in my hamstring that had been bothering me for the past few week.  I try not too think too much of it and do a couple extra laps to make sure I'm nice and warm.  My energy was up and I was feeling good.  I kept working through my drills, but still my hamstring was a little bothersome.  As luck would have it, one of our chiro's popped by and withing minutes made my hamstring tightness disappear. I was ready to go and it felt like nothing was going to stop me.

With the 60 final just before my race it seemed like the facility was packed and the buzz was growing more and more.  As the two finals of the women go, I get amped.  My team mates all blaze super fast times and I know my turn is coming.  All that was left was two finals of the guys then its go time.  The guys in my group are all in the first final, so I stand along the stretch to watch. *BANG* goes the gun and within a blink of the eye the guys are blazing down the track....*BANG* *BANG*....then it all gets called back.   Fifty meters in and the guys are called back on a false start.  Disbelief!
Not only does this mean they have to run again, but now I have to wait for my race to go off.
I do my best to stay warm and keep in the zone as I wait for the 60s to finish.  I walk the track to visualize more, then chill to stay relaxed. 
After 10 minutes the guys are finally ready to go.
*BANG*....and they are off again, and without a hitch. As they whip by, it looks way faster than the run before.  As they crash against the mats, the crowds attention shifts and waits for the scoreboard.  Then there is a roar!  Justyn (Warner) had just run run 6.59 and made it look easy.  With this time he's punched his ticked to the World Indoor Championships, and now I'm ready to get mine. 
Wasting no time the officials cart the starting blocks down to the 400m start and before I even get a practice start in, its time to go.  Warm ups off and behind my blocks.  I look down at the track, roll my neck, relax my shoulders and I'm ready to go.

*BANG*, and I'm off!  I take off aggressively, just like I practice, I look up and I'm already halfway down the back.  As I lock it in I keep the momentum I build and round the second corner with ease.  I approach the cut in on the home stretch and establish myself as the leader.  I demolish the first 200m with ease, the second 200m is where the mental strength kicks in.  I do my best to stay relaxed and keep the pace down the back stretch.  With 100m left to go I hear my coach yell out my split...."39, 40".  I can't remember if that's good or not, I don't know if I should kick more or keep doing what I'm doing, I get thrown off.  All of a sudden I can hear everything around me.  I hear people screaming my name, I hear people telling me to relax, its loud!  As I bend the last corner it looks like way more then 50 meters.  I pump my arms as fast as I can, I can feel my body tightening up and I fight, I fight as hard as I can.
I look up at the scoreboard, and its not what I wanted to see.  Instantly I'm mad and I want to know what went so wrong.  I felt amazing, I felt fast, but for some reason it didn't pan out. 
As I cool down I replay it in my head to figure out what happened.  I was relaxed, I was aggressive, I felt like it was fast,  I thought I had done everything right. 

After I cooled down, mentally and physically, I talked to my coaches about my race.  They weren't disappointed, they see what needed to be fixed and they are confident in my performance.  Just because I didn't punch my ticket today, doesn't mean World Indoors is out of the question.  Today was a good opener, even though it didn't go exactly like I wanted it to.  I feel the difference in my race already and once I clean up the end I know things will come together.  
Next stop Saskatoon, to run in front of a home crowd, and I can't wait!

Hello 2012

Well the year is finally here. Once every four years, just like a leap year.  I feel like a kid born on February 29th, I finally get to celebrate....well maybe not quiet yet.
The Olympics are later this year, sometime I'm August. A lot of people know the exact day, hour and minute and are counting down. I've never been one for countdowns though. If movies have taught me anything, countdowns end in explosions!  In all seriousness though, I don't bother with countdowns because I can be focusing on more important things, like the journey. This has been a journey in who knows how many years in the making.  I feel like everything is slowly falling into place. Every year before this it always felt like I was missing something to make it that next step.  Last year I was close, but God had another plan and this year he is putting it together.
I'm coming into this year with a no holds bad attitude.  Leaving everything out on the track, the mat and the weight room.
I've been told enough times that I have what it takes. Now, finally, I believe that.
And I've finally got what I had been missing.